Harry Potter and the Crazy Shippers
by Marshie12
Summary: Who will be Harry's future love interest? I don't know!Actually I do could be any one. Could even be me? Or even more important who is Snape's love interest?
1. Battle Ship

A/N: I'm just having a lot of fun with this it makes no sense but well I enjoyed the ending. Plus I always wanted to write myself into a story and well have some fun and tell me what you think.

Harry Potter and the Crazy Shippers 

Harry sat down in a comfy chair by the fire thinking about what ever it is Harry wishes to think about because I'm not a stalker and do not wish to enter his thoughts… although I am very curious about what Harry thinks about.

Oh I think I will put myself into this story in order to fully understand the life of Harry Potter.

"Hello Harry!"

Harry jumps up and shrieks, "Who the heck are you?"

"That's irrelevant," I brush him off.

"Could you stop that?" he asks looking at me weirdly.

"Stop what?"

"That describey thingy you keep doing after someone says something!"

"Ok don't be so touchy! I'll only do it when it's necessary."

"Thank you. Now who are you and why are you here?"

"Well I'm Casey and I put myself here."

"How?"

"Well I wrote this story."  
"You wrote Harry Potter?"

"No but I'm writing this fan fiction."  
"Erm… right."

"Well now it's my turn to ask questions. Ok who do you think will be your next love interest?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Um… no?"

"Okay, okay well I really don't think there will be much of a love interest for me. I mean at the rate I was going at the end of the 5th book it looks as though I'll be brooding all year."

"Yes but J.K. already said there will be a love interest for you so just take a guess."

"I don't know it could be any one, it could be you for all I know… why are you blushing?"

"Well it's just such a honor for you to say that."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Um… sure why not!"

"Alright honestly I kind of think Ginny would be the most likely person for me to get together with."

Suddenly all Hermione/Harry shippers appeared in the common room.

"Hey how did you all get into my story?"

"We hacked in!"

"Damn you hackers!"

"Harry how dare you say that Ginny is your best match!"

"Okay lets think about this calmly," Harry soothed. "Soothed? Are you kidding? I don't sooth!"

"Sorry the readers are getting confused with the narration!"

"Ok well let's at least make this a fair debate! Casey write all the Harry/Ginny shippers into the story!"

Casey/I just coughed.  
"Well where are they?"

"Um I'm kind of… the only one."

"Erm okay. Well since you are the only Harry/Ginny shipper and you are also the author so you get to go first in order to get your point across and eventually convince us of the reason I should be with Ginny since it is your story."

"Okay! So erm right Harry will be with Ginny because well lets face it Hermione is practically his sister and I don't think J.K. would have Harry date his sister!"

"Good point Casey. H/H shippers do you have a rebuttle?"

"Yeah um right so we just really hacked our way into this story to talk to Harry but… erm even though Harry and Hermione are practically related, that would really cause a good twist on the story!"

"Yeah okay I'm afraid this has to stop. I don't think I'll end up with Ginny or Hermione and since it's my love life I have to say that I think it will be some other character."

"Damn I knew he was still hung on that Cho weirdo!" the H/H shippers yelled.

"No it's not Cho she was a horrible kisser! I think it's-"  
"Damn it is Luna!" I yell.

"Casey you can just stop talking because you already know who it is since you are writing this story."

"Oh right I forget sometimes."

"Okay lets stall for a little bit longer so Casey can build some tension in the story!"

"Damn you Casey!" Draco yelled!

"Why is Malfoy here?" Harry asked disgusted. "I'm not disgusted I'm just confused!"

"What ever! Harry has anyone ever told you how whiny you are?"

"Back to Me!" Draco yelled. "I'm not yelling I'm talking loudly and please call me Malfoy it creates a more evil persona."

"Right well Draco is here because Harry was about to say that he thinks Draco will become good and they will hook up."

"That's not what I was going to say!"

"Yeah it was!" Draco yelled. "I'm not yelling!"

Every one looked at Draco.

"Erm this is getting boring let's see if we can hack onto Sugar Quill!" The H/H shippers yelled.

"Would you guys stop yelling!"

"Geese he is whiney!"

I just nodded at them.

"Well does any one even care who I'm going to get with or not?"

"Erm… not so much." The H/H shippers said and hacked out.

"Well I already know!" I informed them.

"I'm kind of interested but I'd much rather know who Snape is going to get with," Draco informed Harry and me.

"Ooh I want to know that one too!" Harry exclaimed.

"Sorry I don't think I know that one but it could be Professor McGonigal."

"You spelled her name wrong!"

"Oh shut it Harry!"

Suddenly Ron appeared wearing leather pants.  
"Why the hell is Ron here and what is he doing wearing leather pants?"

"**_P_**leather!" Ron exclaimed.

"I'm sorry I got confused he's from my other story."

"Well I'm so totally lost I think I'm going to leave," Draco decided.

"Erm Ron I think Hermione was looking for you."

"Um… do I like her?" he asked confused.

"Yes Ron! Now I think I saw her in the library."

"Ok that's much better now I don't have to say who says what."

"Erm well I'm officially confused about what's happened in the last 10 minutes."

"That's okay because I really only came here for one reason." I hand him a piece of mistletoe. "Bye Harry Potter and good luck finding a future love interest."

"Bye Casey. Will I see you again?"

"Yes but I don't think you'll be looking." And with that I disappeared back to fan fiction world.

Right after the beautiful Casey disappeared a little redheaded girl climbed through the portrait hole. "Hi Harry."

Harry looked down at the piece of mistletoe and laughed.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"Merry Christmas Gin," he said still laughing slightly and holding the mistletoe over their heads. Then he leaned in and kissed her.

"Damn we should have stayed!" the H/H shippers yelled upset on the Sugar Quill website.


	2. A Convoy of Ships

A/N: Hehe I read my stories… again! And well I'm kind of getting short on ideas! Anyone want to contribute to the make people laugh foundation? Just send me a review with one of three things:

A really awesome comment on my stories

An idea for something silly that could happen between any of the characters or a ship that you think I have accidentally overlooked in my… what ever this thing is

And/or a title for a story because you can get a lot of crazy ideas just from a title.

Thanks and I hope you have fun reading my Valentines Day story.

P.S. see if you can count the pairings! (The numbers actually do it for you.) Its not very funny just shows how much I hate ships. (Well except Harry and Ginny. Don't know why though!)

Disclaimer: uhh I once ate Fish and Chips… can I own it now?

Harry Potter and the Convoy of Ships 

"Harry we should definitely snog sometime," Ron said lightly. (1)

"Erm no I'm afraid it would never work out between us," Harry said compassionately.

"Still that doesn't mean we can't snog," Ron replied.

"Yes it does because you keep forgetting I'm dating Malfoy!" (2)

Suddenly Malfoy appeared. "Harry it's over," he said softly.

"How can you do this to me sugar-plum! I loved you!" Ron yelled.

"Ron he's breaking up with me not you!" Harry yelled outraged.

"Oh well why are you getting so mad?" Malfoy cringed very scared.

"Because I know you two have been sneaking off behind my back!" (3) Harry said breaking down in tears.

"Oh well then I'm breaking up with both of you!" Malfoy said soothingly.

"But why Draco?" Ron asked beginning to weep.

"Because I'm in love with Hermione…" (4) "… But actually dating Ginny," (5) Malfoy said proudly.

"You can't have Hermione she's mine!" Harry yelled angrily. (6)

"Not true!" Ron also yelled, "she's mine," (7) "and so is Ginny!" (8)

Harry and Draco looked at him like he was some sort of freak.

"Dude that's just wrong!" Harry said shaking his head.

"She's like your sister!" Draco scolded.

"Like you're one to talk Malfoy! We all know you had a thing going with your mom (9) and your dad!" (10) Ron yelled out angrily.

"Okay this is getting way to weird… lets go find other characters and find out their odd ship/love life's!" Harry yelled excitedly.

So the three somethingateers went on the quest for the Holy grail which in this case was a love life chain that would make any soap opera look like a children's book about eggs!

The first person they happened to have crossed paths with was the town bicycle. "Hermione, we've been looking all over for you!" Ron said excited.

"Are you here to find out about my confusing and very long love life?" she asked.

"Yep… chronologically please," Harry said smiling at her.

"Well of course there was you two, then I once kissed Mr. Weasley and Mr. Malfoy," the boys all cringed, "then there was Voldy… he was a good kisser… and Snape, um I once kissed Ginny but that was just truth or dare so I don't think it counts. Once me and Lupin came pretty close to third base but was interrupted by Sirius… don't think he was too happy, suppose they were dating…"

"Alright, alright we get the gist. You have kissed everyone," Ron scribbled down on his clipboard.

"That's not true and I resent that comment. I have never kissed Dean!" Hermione yelled angrily. (Um I'll just round that to 150)

The three boys hurriedly walked down the hallway before Hermione could try and kiss them again.

When they got to the end of the hallway they met Ginny.

"Ginny how many people have you kissed?" Harry asked scared about the answer.

"Six," she replied simply.

"Six! That's all?" Harry yelled out in shock.

"Yep. Michael, Dean, Hermione, Draco, Sirius and you. See, six." (154)

"Wow!"

"What's your magic number Harry?" Ginny asked curious.

Harry blushed and mumbled, "Two."

"Two!" all three of them yelled.

"Yes okay? Ginny and Cho!" he said stubbornly. (155)

"But I thought you dated Hermione, and Draco?" Ron asked confused.

"Yes but I never said I kissed them!"

"You poor boy!" Mrs. Weasley yelled giving him a kiss. (156)

"Ron what's your number?" Harry asked after Mrs. Weasley had released him.

"Oh my Ronnikins hasn't ever kissed a girl," Mrs. Weasley said pinching Ron's cheek.

Harry and Ginny giggled. Malfoy just stood there looking scandalized.

"That's so not true! Me and Ron kissed oodles of times plus I know he's kissed Hermione!"

"Alright so my real number is 96!" Ron yelled and Mrs. Weasley died of a heart attack. (242)

"Okay we have enough information!" Draco yelled excitedly.

"Oh well too bad we can't read it!" Harry yelled as they all fell to the floor except for Hermione who was still in the other corridor counting the people she has kissed. Suddenly she got brain hemorrhage and also died… again.


End file.
